Blog Correction

My bad,
That term is too serious and I only reserve it for the moments that I truly mean them, my bad.

So I will not waste any of your time here is a link to the blog that I messed up.

In other news, I have no idea what my grades are still, I don't think they'll be fantastic but I see a pattern kinda with my first year at community college, and if I continue on that pattern the next two quarters are gonna be sweet!

Classes taking in the Spring:

Life Sciences 1

Calculus 3B

Human Evolution, Anthropology 121C

Teaching Badass-ness to Novices Honors

Ok, that last class I'm joking about, I've already passed it I know.

Also, what the hell does Google have against 'ok'? They don't like 'okay' or 'okey' or 'o-k' wait, they like 'o-k' what the hell! I mean, I thought okay was legit but not to Google, nooooooooo fascists.

Regards,
Joe Creason

By popular demand.

Well since there were so many fan emails on the subject I figured I would make a post in the time I had at the computer at my job before Deidre comes in, which is three minutes.

Darwin Day was a while ago but I need to post more of my photos and such so here are a few ok BASS club photos,
Sam, who is the leg of the club. We had a discussion and the reason why he's the leg is because if he were cut off from the club, would be hopping around on one leg, which leaves kicking ass virtually impossible.

Vince, the token music snob of the club, sadly his snobbery kicks my own in the balls.

Roy, president-not-mandated-by-Michael Shermer.

Deidre has been here for awhile, she needs to do her job.
Regards,
Joe Creason

Long Time, No Blog, baby

Quick updates to let you all know I'm still a live.

-still at UCLA
-still interested in becoming a primatologist
-although I haven't said much on this blog per se, still interested in photography
-still interested in math, to the point where I want to teach it to k-12 students whilst going to grad school, which is a bigggggggg maybe still.
-still street

I want to update this more, but I obviously will prioritize real life to this blog. I also want to talk about how I rationality-ly kicked a right wing wish-I-had-a-Fox News-show speakers ass last night and yeah. Even though I am I guess an adult now, it's still cool to me disproving an adult who's used to getting into arguments with others on points and having them seem like morons. Yes that basically means it's cool that I make jerks feel stupid, of course I'll elaborate later.

but now, Math!
Regards,
Joe Creason

Along with discussing the crap I mentioned earlier, I wanna start a collection of the most bad ass real people. I think I shall call the project, "Remembering Bad ass-ness" and it will consist basically postings of articles or military citations etc. detailing someone who is of notable bad ass-calibur.

The idea is not clever/original I know, but I feel like my expertise on the field would yield great material to add to my collection.

I was about to list some criteria, but I think that that list needs very careful consideration and many sleepless nights staying up with a team of researchers in order to even be a worthy criteria. So needless to say, another day I shall transcribe one.

Until then let me start with the person who acted as the catalyst for my decision to make this collection, and that man, man of Bad Ass-ness is Senator Jim Webb (pictured right).

I first heard of Jim Webb via The Daily Show and decided to wikipedia him to look up his military record (the reference on the show to him talked about how he served in Vietn--er, sorry, 'Nam). And I found out that he got the Navy Cross, second highest bravery medal for the Navy/Marines only to the Medal of Honor. Furthermore, the citation was available...

I will make bold the parts important to Webb's addition to the RBAnC*

"The President of the United States takes pleasure in presenting the Navy Cross to James H. Webb, Jr. (106180), First Lieutenant, U.S. Marine Corps, for extraordinary heroism while serving as a Platoon Commander with Company D, First Battalion, Fifth Marines, FIRST Marine Division (Reinforced), Fleet Marine Force, in connection with combat operations against the enemy in the Republic of Vietnam. On 10 July 1969, while participating in a company-sized search and destroy operation deep in hostile territory, First Lieutenant Webb's platoon discovered a well-camouflaged bunker complex which appeared to be unoccupied. Deploying his men into defensive positions, First Lieutenant Webb was advancing to the first bunker when three enemy soldiers armed with hand grenades jumped out. Reacting instantly, he grabbed the closest man and, brandishing his .45 caliber pistol at the others, apprehended all three of the soldiers. Accompanied by one of his men, he then approached the second bunker and called for the enemy to surrender. When the hostile soldiers failed to answer him and threw a grenade which detonated dangerously close to him, First Lieutenant Webb detonated a claymore mine in the bunker aperture, accounting for two enemy casualties and disclosing the entrance to a tunnel. Despite the smoke and debris from the explosion and the possibility of enemy soldiers hiding in the tunnel, he then conducted a thorough search which yielded several items of equipment and numerous documents containing valuable intelligence data. Continuing the assault, he approached a third bunker and was preparing to fire into it when the enemy threw another grenade. Observing the grenade land dangerously close to his companion, First Lieutenant Webb simultaneously fired his weapon at the enemy, pushed the Marine away from the grenade, and shielded him from the explosion with his own body. Although sustaining painful fragmentation wounds from the explosion, he managed to throw a grenade into the aperture and completely destroy the remaining bunker. By his courage, aggressive leadership, and selfless devotion to duty, First Lieutenant Webb upheld the highest traditions of the Marine Corps and of the United States Naval Service."

Ok, not only did he push his buddy out of the way of the grenade, but he also SHIELDED HIS FRIEND FROM THE GRENADE EXPLOSION WITH HIS OWN FREAKIN' BODY. And, almost as if just for a little extra flavor, he shot at the guy who threw the grenade at the same god damned time.

I imagine some guy with his sleeves cut off at the shoulders stoically watching a grenade land in fron of him and his sidekick, look up, utter calmly, "Not today." then reach down and pick up the grenade and hold it in his fist letting the explosion happen. His fist took most of the explosion, only a pitiful stream of smoke slithers out from the cracks between his over-dominating fingers.

That's probably what happened, if only they had a film crew follow this guy...But I hope that that citation is a good example of what I am trying to do with the RBAnC, if anyone can suggest any possible candidates let me know!


Regards,
Joe Creason

Okay, Some Goals, Science-dammit!

This blog is just me bitching I know I know. I should stop and actually do what I wanted to do in making a new blog, and what is that you ask? Well consider,

1. I wanted to have a more professional blog to discuss academic-themed items with regards to my major. I wanted to talk about primatology, anthropology and possible fields within my major that I want to focus on. When I say focus on, I mean with consideration to things I like, (think are bad ass) and/or want to research for graduate school or yeah.

In any case I wanted to write about all that on a easily accessible blog site as motivation to make sure I only publish items (in the antecedent* paragraph) that I would feel comfortable in having people associate with me.

So there.

2. I also wanted to kind of make this blog in a way that it received a lot of traffic. Not like, a lot of traffic as in Richard Dawkins** where there are like a billion hints are something like that, just yeah, I don't know how to articulate what I mean exactly, right now.

3. Articulate-a-fy goal number 2.

4. Fuel my love of the following:

[Skepticism,

Anthropology,

Argument for the sake of argument,

Really really hating people and explaining how that is not a negative attribute to have but only subject to falling victim to douchebagery.

Better articulate my writing. Through loving the style of writing "stream of conscious"-esque or with the "authentic voice" in works that I enjoy, and my constant OCD with making sure that no assumptions about my position can be made by having sentences which require like, fifty commas and me wondering whether or not I can correctly use a semi-colon and above all forgetting what the hell I was talking about by the tail end of the said sentence, which I conveniently represent with this very sentence. That, I need to stop doing.]

via writing about all that in a daily manner.

5. Because there are probably a few things I've left out because I'm getting sluggish in making this post, I have the goal to establish more goals. I know thats not a good goal to set, shut up.

6. Because I think this should be noted in everyones goal lists, I shall end with the goal to get girls with this blog. Not a good place to start but I feel I could argue that the goal to get girls is a profoundly virtuous one to have.


Regards,
Joe Creason

*I feel good about fitting in that word, it sounds so cool.
**No, I do not have the false-esteem to place my caliber at a level as Dawkins, dick.

Dear Girls,

I know this could be considered superficial and blah blah blah but bare in mind I'm 21 and a guy. If it were possible to measure cuteness in a numerical fashion, it would hold true that if a girl is wearing flats, they are automatically allotted 10 plus points. To give an example of what I mean, the well-known misconception that one automatically receives X points on their SATs just for correctly bubbling in their name.

I know why, but it's a long boring story--so, I don't know why but girls who wear flats automatically look cute as all hell to me. All girls should wear them, I doubt that that will conclude in my slowly hating them, because I hate hate hate other types of footwear for reasons that have no association with their popularity.

Sandals. If, a girl or guy no less, is wearing sandals, it bugs the crap out of me. Of course not in the way where I flip out on someone or some absurd thing like that but I just don't like sandals. Of course this changes if at a beach or some watery themed setting is where I find myself, but just as an everyday footwear item they bug me. Also, sandals with backing or the ones with a--basically sandals with no backing or stay on your feet solely by having a piece of material rest between the big toe and it's adjacent toe are what bug me.

Also, heels and platform shoes (creepers are borderline) annoy me you're not at a formal box social or a rave, and no, being on E or turning a room light on and off rapidly won't be accepted in place of a rave, sorry. I'm sorry but most girls do not look good walking in heels, they always look like they're afraid of rolling their ankle or something. Lame.

Of course girls should wear whatever shoe they want, but any rational person would agree that it's absurd to say that I can't hold opinions towards that fashion statement or that I can't control them. Come on!

But yeah, anyways, I hope this makes anyone who reads this blog realize that I approve of the large quantity of cute scene girls that are roaming UCLA. They go to UCLA, they're in my math classes so they're even smarter and/or they're in my Anthropology classes so that just means that they have similar interests! This is awesome, I just need to grow a pair of confident-to-go-up-to-girls-and-talk-to-them-Antonio Banderas in Desporado-style-balls and this quarter might work out!

I forgot to mention, hipster boots. Hipster girls need to stop wearing hipster boots, they bug me and I think for more valid non-OCD reasons than the ones I jotted down earlier, that post is for another day however. Being a hipster in general is something someone needs to take care of but if you must stick with that mindset, at the very least throw out the hipster boots!

In conclusion, flats, you can't go wrong with 'em! Er, unless you wear socks with them, I know I know shoes + ~(socks) = bad foot smell, but if anything it makes guys not feel so bad about their bad foot smell, right? Yeah.

Winter Quarter

I'm excited for Winter Quarter, even though I'm only taking one upper division course. And well, here's my schedule,

Paleopathology Anthro. 129Q

Calc. 1

Anthro. 33

The classes I'm most excited for are also in the above order. Anthro. 33 doesn't sound interesting to me but yeah, I like all anthropology so maybe it will turn out to be alright. Paleopathology sounded interesting, probably will be and the teacher was on Penn and Teller's Bullshit! Now that will be awesome.

My super goal this quarter, get all A's. Or I'll eat my hat!

Monkeys can be used for political ladder climbing

I need to post more frequently, and I need to explain the following:

Who the hell I am

The origin of this blog's title

And more relevant non-complaining stuff in general.

I shall try my darn'dist to do the above three, maybe even one tonight! But until now, look at why monkeys will always be important:

Monkeys become deadly menace in Delhi

Right on, man.

Last night at 12:42 am my brother called me in the middle of a study group to ask the following.
"Hey Joe."
"Yeah?"
"Dude, are you gay?"
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Are you fucking serious?"
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"Yea--are you drunk?"
"Yeah but, like does mom and Jon [my step-dad] know about it?"
"Well Jon knows bu--"
"No, no, no. Fuck it, I don't care, good for you, being gay, that's what you want to be so yeah, I don't care."
"Alright. Um, I gotta go cause I'm studying."
"Alright see ya later."
"So long."

That's probably the nicest thing my brother has said to me. The best part it is that it isn't even true, now I need to get my parents to get in on the joke.

One more final, I swear to god.

Oooh What she gonna doooo, with a spachila, against two gunssss ohhhhh

I shall start this post with a topic that has nothing to do with the rest of this post. Douglas Adams kicks ass. I'm cheating and listening to his audiobook of the Hitchhikers' Guide series and it's awesome. I defend my not reading it by arguing that I have finals and a lot of school crap and cannot have lights on past midnight cause my roommate can't sleep with any lights on at all, annnnnd I heard on SGU* that the audiobook is really bad ass. And it is! But anyways, although I realize that I'm not right now, I might catch myself attempting to write like he does so from here on out just play the following game. Every time you see a bad joke-irony-deadpan absurd Joseph Heller-esque statement you can take a drink (I hope it's already assumed that people drink hard liquor when reading blogs, if not you haven't lived). So the jokes were put in not because I thought they were funny, but because I want people to play a game and read! And that is all.

Now.

I've only taken one final this week and I already want to post a look back at my first quarter at UCLA. I won't end up writing a quality post because it is also late and the people who now read this probably heard the majority of what I would bitch about anyways.

To be short: This was nothing like how I thought or wanted it to be at all, and usually it never is but usually it's never this bad. And at the same time I don't really hate it here. I like the idea of going to UCLA, I like knowing I go to UCLA, I like the classes and the professors and the dorm food and the people in my dorm.

But at the same time I hate my progress in my classes, the way I waste time and my living situation. I already feel lame talking about my roommate as much as I already do, and I would feel even more lame if I complained in my blog about everything. But I won't submit to my lameness and complain until I max out my max amount of symbols, which I think is impossible. I'll just say one thing, tonight isn't the only night I've had to go on the computer only in the bathroom and not in my dormroom.

I also hate how more and more absurd it's getting to try and get my BS. I should take it off my email sig. and other items I've put Anthropology BS in instead, I'm still technically getting a BA right now and as luck is probably going to have it, I probably will end up with it. I feel stupid for doing that now, but at the same time, meh. I need to stop complaining.

*Non-complaining
I have taken photos while I've been at UCLA and I think I will post them sooner or later, but most of them suck. I am so glad I didn't try and get on the Daily Bruin, I would have had no time to make an impression or to put into any assignments that I might receive.

Crap, it's 3:15 and I have Chem. Primate Behavior and Philosophy to study for, so yeah, I am gonna cut this mo' short.

Good night.

PS-There were 57 times you could have potentially taken a drink while reading this.

*SGU-Skeptic's Guide to the Universe