Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Dear Girls,

I know this could be considered superficial and blah blah blah but bare in mind I'm 21 and a guy. If it were possible to measure cuteness in a numerical fashion, it would hold true that if a girl is wearing flats, they are automatically allotted 10 plus points. To give an example of what I mean, the well-known misconception that one automatically receives X points on their SATs just for correctly bubbling in their name.

I know why, but it's a long boring story--so, I don't know why but girls who wear flats automatically look cute as all hell to me. All girls should wear them, I doubt that that will conclude in my slowly hating them, because I hate hate hate other types of footwear for reasons that have no association with their popularity.

Sandals. If, a girl or guy no less, is wearing sandals, it bugs the crap out of me. Of course not in the way where I flip out on someone or some absurd thing like that but I just don't like sandals. Of course this changes if at a beach or some watery themed setting is where I find myself, but just as an everyday footwear item they bug me. Also, sandals with backing or the ones with a--basically sandals with no backing or stay on your feet solely by having a piece of material rest between the big toe and it's adjacent toe are what bug me.

Also, heels and platform shoes (creepers are borderline) annoy me you're not at a formal box social or a rave, and no, being on E or turning a room light on and off rapidly won't be accepted in place of a rave, sorry. I'm sorry but most girls do not look good walking in heels, they always look like they're afraid of rolling their ankle or something. Lame.

Of course girls should wear whatever shoe they want, but any rational person would agree that it's absurd to say that I can't hold opinions towards that fashion statement or that I can't control them. Come on!

But yeah, anyways, I hope this makes anyone who reads this blog realize that I approve of the large quantity of cute scene girls that are roaming UCLA. They go to UCLA, they're in my math classes so they're even smarter and/or they're in my Anthropology classes so that just means that they have similar interests! This is awesome, I just need to grow a pair of confident-to-go-up-to-girls-and-talk-to-them-Antonio Banderas in Desporado-style-balls and this quarter might work out!

I forgot to mention, hipster boots. Hipster girls need to stop wearing hipster boots, they bug me and I think for more valid non-OCD reasons than the ones I jotted down earlier, that post is for another day however. Being a hipster in general is something someone needs to take care of but if you must stick with that mindset, at the very least throw out the hipster boots!

In conclusion, flats, you can't go wrong with 'em! Er, unless you wear socks with them, I know I know shoes + ~(socks) = bad foot smell, but if anything it makes guys not feel so bad about their bad foot smell, right? Yeah.


Joey said...

Too sexy! Too sexy!!

Susan Harris said...

I would imagine that you haven't tried on girl-style flats without socks. Not very comfortable, wearing shoes without socks. And if it's not a perfect fit, too bad, because flats aren't adjustable at all-- no laces, no velcro. Blisters galore. Generally very poor arch support as well.

I understand this is just a fashion judgment, but I would caution against encouraging flats because they seem more natural or whatever than heels... they're not necessarily better fitting or more comfortable.

Joe Creason said...

Yes but Susan, you're throwing out easily, 10 plus points on such an arbitrary concept as arch support.

I could really admit that if a girl wears bike punx! shoes like aisics then you're definitely moving on to the final round. But I realize that flats are cheaper, and I wanna be fair.